I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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