so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he fucked my hip out of place.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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