You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
