Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
