pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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