Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
