You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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