Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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