What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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