dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
