swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
