his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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