C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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