Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have already put on my inside pants.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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