Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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