Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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