Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
