i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
