that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
