"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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