Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
