how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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