Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
