Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
