I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
