I showed him my bush... on skype.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
