hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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