dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Randomize
