only if we run a train.
done.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
