Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i may or may not be watching the land before time
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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