i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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