Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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