i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
