I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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