I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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