Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
