Me. At least after what I've been through.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
