yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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