I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
