so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
