Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
