I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
