I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
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