he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
