I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
