and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
