You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
