I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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