Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
