Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
