I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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