he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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